Revisions

This paragraph is  a sample of my second essay in which I analyzed the comedians Key and Peele and how their bi-raciality defines them. The main difference between my first and final draft is the addition of content that explains the point I am making. In my first draft the context clues were a little too ambiguous and I had learned from my teacher that good writing makes the message obvious for the reader. In my second draft I did more research and found sources that would help me expound upon my previous work and make it easier for the reader to follow my thesis through the essay.

Before Revision:  Today’s society tries to put everything and everyone in a category. Key and Peele are pressured to belong to one race more than the other. Keegan has always identified himself as biracial, but on TV the public recognizes him as “the black guy”. “Why do you make that distinction though, huh?” asks Jordan Peele “Why do you have to make that distinction, I don’t understand?” Key and Peele are outside the box so to speak, and that allows them to take their comedy to new places. They can make fun of black culture because they are black; then they can go make fun of white culture because they are white. That is what comedy is all about; it transcends normal boundaries and can be universally understood because laughter is the same everywhere.

After Revision: Today’s society tries to put everything and everyone in a category. Key and Peele are pressured to belong to one race more than the other. Keegan has always identified himself as biracial, but on TV the public recognizes him as “the black guy”. “Why do you make that distinction though, huh?” asks Jordan Peele “Why do you have to make that distinction, I don’t understand?”  This distinction stems from the “one-drop rule” of the early 20th century that proclaimed anyone with mixed blood a black person.  Many mixed people of that era chose to “pass” as white in order to avoid discrimination and have access to better job and education opportunities. In modern society the one-drop rule is being used to the reverse effect: people with mixed blood more often than not refer to themselves as black. Mixed people acted overtly white during the late 19th to early 20th century, in order to remove all doubt that they might have any black in them.

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